10 FUNNIEST Anti Political Correctness Jokes

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” m not for abortion. Oh shut up nigga. I m not for it. But i i m not against it easy it all depends on who i get pregnant.

In t care. I m tell right now i don t care what your religious beliefs are anything if you have a dick you need to shut the fuck up on this one seriously. This is there s the right to choose is there unequivocal right not only do i believe they have the right to choose i believe that they should have to consult anybody except for a physician about how they exercise that right gentlemen that is fair and ladies to be fair to us. I also believe if you decide to have the baby.

A man should not have to pay that s fair if you can kill this motherfucker. I can at least abandon them. It s my money my choice applause and if i m wrong then perhaps. We re wrong people that are here to political correctness are in my opinion retarded faggots.

I can see some of you sitting in judgment thinking are retarded faggots that is an offensive phrase. But it s not that offensive a phrase not when you compare it to my impersonation of a retarded faggot that s offensive compared to that phrase doesn t seem as bad now. And is it i was trying to segue in the kid fucking. But same way it s fun let s just jump right in shall we internet predators.

Yeah. They re very popular all over the television. They i can catch a predator myspace. Yeah oh fuck yeah yeah like i don t know cuz i i was a kid at one point.

I don t remember. But it is pictures but uh i remember we didn t have the internet. But to avoid predators. Our parents would go up hey son don t talk to strangers.

Some of them might try to fuck you you all thanks thanks. Thanks for the heads up and then you just went about your day. And does that not work for the internet. Now you don t have to parent anymore.

Oh. The internet like they have some crazy way of getting around that don t talk to strangers. If your parents and you re in here. I know you don t want to hear this you ll argue at me.

And you ll say that i m twisting the back i m wrong. But this is the truth that that probably a huge probability when i say probably astronomical odds vegas odds statistical probability probably nobody wants to fuck your kid i know you don t want to hear it you want to think that child is so ultra fuckable that all the pedophiles are there jockeying for position right now down at the seesaws waiting for them to come on at first period. Wait for it junkie kid. The o neill kid.

That s all we re all here. If you wanted your kid to get fucked just to prove to your neighbors in your gated community..

That your kids hotter than their kid. And you say your kid out as bait. And you put him in a catholic schoolgirl skirt with no underpants and you made him hop on a pogo stick to school so so his little pink quarters shown so temptingly towards traffic. He would still probably graduate school having never been booed and then what an asshole you d look like trying to brag around a gated community at the next cocktail mixer.

Just by the grace of god that no no one ever fucked him it s only because of my hyper vigilance and the work of my congressman. Getting more laws passed on the internet that he never got fought if i were a parent. I would prefer that pedophiles be on the internet. There s no more pedophiles in the world than there ever have been that like the internet is creating pedophiles where there were none if i were a parent.

If you exist anyway stay on the internet stay jacking off in your basement in south carolina. As opposed to the old fashioned way where they actually went down to your schoolyard. They did laughs around the playground smarties on a fishing line trying to fly fish jr into the oldsmobile internet right just don t fuck the kid that s all you should worry about. But that s now a video.

Forgetting the attorney general. He says his number one focus is to stop the kid fucking. But he doesn t he wants to go after the internet. He s not going after the guy with the kid in the camera.

He just was that they used that fear mongering to get more government control in your life more legislation. More oh no i don t want to have to be responsible for my own kid you take care of it mr. Government and if i get tired of it. I ll just vote for the other party that ll make a difference so i ll tell you why i m late one late joining.

I think i can explain myself to you now he s a wee boy. My granddad used to take me up into the loft. I take there in a chest. They hide up there he don t knock the chest.

Do you know wasn t it a mere maid and he d have me strip. Me kid is a wee boy and make love to that mare me than the floor. Well he watched for his sexual gratification now usually uh when the old bastard was dead. I went back up in the loft.

I took down the chest domed up do you know what i found in there. A dead monkey with its legs. Soon. Together you didn t mind me of that monkey.

Johnny. Why do we in this country. Why do we allow so many of our innocent kids to be shot to death. Why do we allow that as a country you know why don t well not us god.

Why does god we have no control over the situation at all it s all in god s hands. Why does god allow so many of our innocent kids to be shot to death..

And you know they do i mean i know he has mysterious ways y all. But who did it what is he thinking what are you thinking god taking on i m not questioning you cuz. I know you have your mysterious ways you are i m nipping in no no all wise. But it just seems like you re taking an awful you what is the thinking behind it i just music.

It s something that a lot of people. Ask you know why is god allowing so many of our innocent kids to be shot to death and i have a possible answer. And you re not going to like it. But maybe maybe maybe god is allowing so many of our kids to be shot to death.

So that they can go to heaven. Where they then service. The isis terrorists and suicide bombers as part of the seventy two virgins are rewarded with applause. You know you have your bad thoughts.

Hopefully you oppa do good fittings. Everybody has a competition in their brain of good thoughts. And bad thoughts. Hopefully they way the good thoughts.

Win for me. I always have both i have like the thing. I believe the good thing. That s the thing.

I believe and then there s this thing and i don t believe it. But it is there it s always this thing and then this thing. It s become a category in my brain that i call of course. But maybe i ll give you an example okay like of course of course children.

Who have nut allergies need to be protected of course. We desegregate their food from nuts have their medication available at all times and anybody who manufactures or serves food needs to be aware of deadly nut allergies of course. But maybe maybe if touching and nut kills you you re supposed to die of course not of course not of course not jesus. I have a nephew who has that i d be devastated if something happening.

But maybe if we all just do this for one year were done with nut allergies forever not of course. If you re fighting for your country and you get shot or hurt it s a terrible tragedy of course. But maybe maybe if you pick up a gun and go to another country and you get shot. It s not that weird maybe if you get shot by the dude.

You were just shooting at it s a tiny bit your fault applause of course of course slavery is the worst thing that ever happened. Listen listen you all clapped for dead kids. With the nuts for kids dying from from nuts. You applauded so you re in this with me ma.

am. You understand you don t get to cherry pick..

Those kids did nothing to you of course of course slavery is the worst thing that ever happened of course. It is every time. It s happened black people in america jews in egypt. Every time the whole race of people has been enslaved it s a terrible terrible thing of course but maybe maybe every incredible human achievement in history was done with slaves every single thing where you go how did they build those pyramids.

They just threw human death and suffering at them until they were finished. How did we traverse the nation with a railroad. So quickly we just threw chinese people in caves and blew them up and didn t give a shit. What happened to them there s no end to what you can do when you don t get a fuck about particular people you can do anything that s where human greatness comes from is that we re shitty people that we fuck others over even today.

How do we have this amazing micro technology. Because the factory were there making these they jump off the fucking roof because it s a nightmare in there you really have a choice you can have candles and horses and be a little kinder to each other or let someone suffer in measurably far away just so you can leave a mean comment on youtube. While you re taking a shit. I was on a train in a train stop.

It was during like rush hour and and no one knew why the train stopped the conductor. Said folks it may be a half hour delay in service. A woman just was struck and killed by the train and everybody went. Why don t you just be honest.

And do what you want to do and go. Oh my god this dead bitch is holding applause didn t you know why people jaegerman do you know why you don t have transsexual. You don t know why no i don t know maybe. The abnormal gene would be hetero.

That s true hey maybe the normal gene would be those ladies that normal to be gay. But cut their cocks into vaginas no if you re looking to make it in standard television. You re not gonna go on the right route you re not sending this tape to cvs. I m sick of obama s wife yeah this isn t some republican rant either it s just kind of first ladies in general you know i don t know what it is all throughout my life with each presidency like these first ladies they ve just gotten more and more like like like chatty you know more more chiming in like leaning into the frame spitting out their ideas.

It s just like what why are you talking right you weren t elected shut up your husband s not running a lemonade stand here. He s running the country you know just chime in let me guess is this considered sexist. It is why well okay you re just not a dead leg. Let me ask you this all right.

Let s say you had a leak in your house. Okay. You call a plumber up. He shows up and he goes.

Yeah i think the leaks coming from the upstairs bathroom. We need to shut it off the but then all of a sudden. His wife walks in who isn t a plumber applause take his caravan tack. What should we like with all due respect shut the fuck up.

I need a plumber in this moment. I like sending olive branch here alright at some point..

There s gonna be the first female president right exactly which means at that moment. You re gonna have the first male first lady right and when that happens that too needs to shut his trap. I don t want to hear a word out of them i want to hear from the president you sir go do some first lady stuff. All right go get yourself some gloves fit go up to your elbows.

Smile and nod. During speeches. Go put your own flair redecorate in the white house. Right.

Which leads you to michelle obama right now. She s sitting there holding up those hashtags from that hashtag bringbackourgirls remember that it s like i blew my mind. It s like why are you showing me that i m a stand up comedian. Like what am i gonna do to get those curls back.

Why don t you look across the dinner table. It s like you see that guy that it s the leader of the free world tell him to pick up the phone balsam navy seals insolvent. What what am i gonna do show up with a sharpened mic standard. Show.

One thing that always makes me happy always makes me smile i love it when old married couples dive really close together i love it i will clip that out of a newspaper every time i see it to me there was just nothing more romantic than a good old fashioned murder suicide murder suicide always makes me happy murder suicide to the best it s the best kind of suicide by far. We can all agree on that little sister doctor assisted suicide. Get that weak suicide. No collagen supports.

I m all about murder suicide. We re juicing was heads great think about murder suicide. Like this do you hear your friend. Chef committed suicide.

Your only thought is just devastation. Oh. My god what could i have done to save my friend job you hear friend jeff killed. His wife and then himself you just think yuck doesn t fuck around i should have shown jeff more respect back in the deck.

I got me some boss he wasn t cleaning that shit up a murder suicide murder suicide is practically a victimless crime. You are allowed the kilson you are allowed to kill somebody as long as you just kill yourself immediately then it s even steve you re still skeptical think about it like this if you re walking down the street somebody walks up and punches you in the face you were gonna press charges and no doubt if somebody walks up to you on the street punches. You in the face takes a step back and then punches themself in the face have a good day. You don t even tell your friends about murder.

Suicide. Is a victimless crime. As long as you don t leave behind any kids got to kill them too ” ..


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