Become Interested in the Experience of Being Aware

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“You see if you re feeling this tension or agitation or depression. As you rightly rightly say the mind then goes into a kind of intellectual conversation with itself everything in the when is there s nobody here. There s nothing to do etc. Etc.

Etc. But that just those thoughts just lie. Like a thin veneer on top of your feeling of depression. What is more real to you in that moment your feeling of depression or the thought that says.

There s nobody here. There s nothing to do it not the feeling of depression is is your truth at that moment. And as you rightly say going into some intellectual non dual line of thinking. Doesn t touch the depression.

It just sits like a superficial veneer on top of it so. When you feel something like that don t don t go into. Thinking don t go into non dual thinking go go in the other direction into your experience. In the same way that we did this morning.

You re feeling depressed and just say to yourself i am aware of my depression. But you re obviously aware of your depression otherwise you wouldn t know you were depressed. So you just say i am aware of my depression. Just say that to yourself two or three times and and now those words to very gently take you to the experience of being aware you are already aware so it s nothing new really.

But it s like then there s not just your depression. There s your depression. Plus. The fact of being aware of it and then very gently you give your attention to the fact of being aware rather than simply to the darkness of the depression.

So just allow. It s like a liar space to open up in you you re not manipulating the depression..

You re not trying to get rid of it through some non dual rationalization you re just looking at the facts of your experience. I am aware of this feeling. And this is a feeling. It s also felt as a sensation in the body.

There s a kind of density or heaviness to the body. I am aware of that i am aware of my depression. What is this awareness with which i am aware of this depression will what is it that lights up this depression rendering. It knowable or experienceable.

It is i i know this depression. I am aware become interested instead of just being interested in your depression become interested in the being aware of it. What is this awareness that is aware of my depression. In other words you instead of focusing on the depression trying to get rid of it trying to find a reason for it trying to find its cause trying to find its remedy.

Etc. Just leave. It alone say to your depression. Okay.

That s fine. You just stay there you just you can be just as you are and just it s like shifting the focus of your attention to being aware of it become interested in the experience of being aware rather being interested in the experience of being depressed can what can we shift here because the depressing is fleeting. Very much it s not like that but but maybe i can use your advice on this energy contraction. I can see whatever i just use depression as an example energy contraction agitation whatever.

It is yes whatever it is because if you if you become interested in the experience of being aware even when you feel this contraction and density in the body. And then you become interested in the experience of being aware of that and then you ask yourself is the experience of being aware itself contracted no it is no but it is not my awareness and i really experience. It is your awareness no it is it is your awareness. But it doesn t feel like that it s awareness is it belongs to you awareness who else does awareness belong to if it doesn t belong to awareness does it belong to a body yeah remaining awareness belongs to awareness.

Yeah. That s you yeah..

That s you it belongs to you it doesn t feel like that it does you ve just said it it. But you said awareness belongs to awareness yeah. That s you doesn t it who else does awareness belong to who else knows awareness are you aware now just yes. Or no yeah are you aware yeah.

How do you know i don t know how i know. But you do know you know for absolute certain. I am aware. What is it that is aware awareness is aware okay and is that not what you essentially are i feel.

There s something behind awarenesses hold in something held in something when you say i feel that awareness is such and such what i feels that what are you referring to i don t know when you keep using the word. I you just said. I don t know what were you referring to it sounds crazy. But it s not even like it s my thoughts you know it s just you keep referring to i am.

I you ve used the word about ten dozen times in the last five minutes. What are you referring to what are you essentially you ve been using the word hi. All your life. You ve used the word.

I more often than you ve used any other word in the danish language. Whatever the equivalent is you must be referring to something what is it that has remained with you all your life. That is worthy of the name. I the beingness okay.

That s what you are that s what you refer to when you say me or i the being that runs throughout all experience that has never changed that is present in all states. Under all circumstances in all conditions irrespective of whether you feel contracted or depressed or happy or joyful or whatever this i that you refer to as me this being this oh. It s not an inert being it s an aware being that s what you are so that that s what we call awareness the presence of that which is aware the aware being that i am that is you but is that one ever contracted. No even when a contracted sensation is present is that is the one that is aware of it yeah.

The one in or rather. That in which it appears that with which it is known and ultimately that out of which it is made does that ever share the limitations of this contraction..

No this contraction is just a little ripple. A tight little ripple that just passes through this openness and is made out of this openness. So cease being interested in this little contraction become interested in its reality become interested in what is really there in your experience. Which is this totally open unlimited experience of being aware.

Which is the substance or reality of all your experience. Your wonderful experiences and your awful experiences and your indifferent your mediocre experiences. So lose interest in this contraction and this depression not by trying to get rid of them. But because something more interesting has grabbed your attention you know it s like when you like when you fall in love and suddenly.

All the things that you used to think about and worry about all the concerns that seem so important and now they kind of recede into the background. Because your mind is interested in one thing everything else pay everything and everyone else pales into insignificance compared to the one you are in love with all you know is the knowing of your experience. That s all you ever know is the knowing of experience that knowing never disappears it runs constant throughout to all experience. It is not the property of any particular experience.

Although it runs through all experiences. It is not limited by any particular experience be interested in that what is that what is the knowing with which i know my experience. What could be more interesting than that fall in love with that and and these tensions these depressions these contractions you they will just die of neglect. They won t disappear.

Because we have tried to meditate them away for 30 years or discipline them or made any effort towards them no it s the opposite. It s they disappear just like our debt problems disappear. When we fall in love when we re falling up. We couldn t care less.

How much money we have in our bank. Account or whether our cars working or not or whether our what our neighbours are doing and how much noise. The people in the room next door to us are making or any of those things we re still aware of all those things. But we don t worry about them because we re interested in something so much more interesting so much more lovable that all these all these things they just slowly fade.

And then maybe six months later you look back. And you think oh what happened to that depression..

I didn t notice that he went away. I just lost interest in it and it just seemed to leave me. It s like it s like when a headache disappears. You wake up in the morning with a headache.

You ve heard this story before it s like you wake up in the morning with a headache you have a glass of water and an aspirin and you go for a walk and if you get on with your day. And then sometime in the evening. You suddenly remember oh. My headache.

It left me. Oh. I don t know when it left. I don t know why it left.

I don t know how it left it just it just left you at some stage well did these tensions these contractions these depression they leave like that we don t we don t see them disappear. But we ve become interested in something else something so much more interesting lovable can i say my mind is sir is arguing with it there s something that s right. But there s also something my mind goes now i say my mind. This is language as well might this thoughts coming up saying.

The invitation goes to a person. Who is not there are you aware of those thoughts. Yes. Tell me about the nature of that awareness spaciousness just tell me more about that awareness.

I couldn t care less about the thoughts. Tell me about the awareness that knows them pure spaciousness that s good so give that your attention rather than you re arguing thoughts that your thoughts do their thing over there like the sound of the children s voices in the distance don t don t tell me about them. And don t be interested in them yourself just let them do their thing in the background be interested in their reality. What is true in your thoughts.

The only thing that is true in your thoughts is the light of awareness with which they are known and out of which they are made the source and the substance here okay thank you ” ..

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“A discussion exploring how to deal with depression and contractions in the body.”,

Rupert Spira, Meditation, Non-Duality, Ramana Maharshi, Atmananda Krishna Menon, Advaita, Non Duality, Awareness, Consciousness, Buddhism, Advaita Vedanta, Z…

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