How to Overcome Perfectionism (and the Anxiety it Causes) – College Info Geek – YouTube

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“Is one of those things n. They tell you never to say during a job job interview n. When they ask you what your greatest weakness is because n it like a humble brag. But i struggle n with perfectionism like where other people are n.

Willing to say things are good enough or they quite n rightly realize that little tiny details in their n work are never going to be noticed by anybody else i m the guy. That s like n tweaking the position of the light behind that toy n. Ship. So it makes the perfect silhouette.

But over the past few years n. I ve learned to deal with my perfectionism n. And at this point. It doesn t really hinder nme that much anymore.

So what i wanna do with nthis video is share. Some of what i ve learned for n. Dealing with perfectionism. Because as the writer anne n.

Lamott. Very poignantly says in her book bird by bird perfectionism is the nvoice of the oppressor. The enemy of the people now before we move on i do want to say that n. Perfectionism isn t all bad.

In fact. Many. Psychologists n. Will separate perfectionism into two different categories.

Adaptive and maladaptive adaptive. Perfectionist n. Are motivated by their high standards. They pursue their goals n.

Without compromising their self esteem. They re not n..


Hypercritical of their work or themselves. And they n invest massive amounts of time and energy into projects n. That require a lot of attention and focus and effort maladaptive. Perfectionists n.

On the other hand feel constant pressure to meet n an unrealistic standard. They procrastinate because nthings are so hard to get into they feel a lot of anxiety n. And sometimes even depression. Because they re holding n.

Themselves to an ideal that can t possibly reach. Now. I don t believe that n these are two binary states. There s certainly a spectrum n between perfectionism of the adaptive and the n maladaptive sorts and for you perfectionism n.

Probably has some benefits. But it probably also n brings along some problems and personally the nmain problems i see with perfectionism are number one it makes tasks seem n. Monumental because you want to do perfectly on them nso you procrastinate number two constant tweaking n. And editing will cause you to never actually publish n.

And put things out there and move on because you re n. Always second guessing your previous decisions. Number three your skill ndevelopment is hampered because you aren t allowing n yourself to make mistakes. Which are absolutely critical n to the learning process and lastly you have a n lot of anxiety and stress.

Because you re holding yourself nto. An unrealistic ideal and you re constantly nworried about your work being judged. So how do you overcome n. Perfectionism.

Well. Number you need n to realize that you re not perfect and nneither is anybody else and i realize the second n half of that statement can be really hard to n. Acknowledge sometimes because the internet is always n presenting us with things that are finished and n polished like we have so many connections to so many people and they re all presenting n. A tailored version of themselves to you they re so proud to show off n the fruits of their labors.

But they never show off the n hours that went into it and they never show off the n mistakes and the failures that they had along the way n. And these are vital parts of the learning process you can t have success nwithout these mistakes so embrace imperfection embrace mistakes realize n..


It s gonna happen like think back to when n you were a kid and you were learning to ride a bike you probably fell n off a ton of times you probably still have n scars on your shoulders. That remind you of those times and you weren t worried at n. All about riding the bike perfectly that first time you just wanted n to ride the bike. You probably wanted to get n the training wheels off.

And you tried and tried n. And tried until you did it if it took so many tries to nlearn to do something as simple as riding a bike. Why do you n. Think you have to be able to write a paper or give a speech n.

Perfectly on the first try number two just get n. Started and let your work become a mess work in private and n. Don t worry about the state of the project on nthe first pass through in his memoir on. Writing n.

Stephen king. Advise us to write with the door closed nand rewrite with the door open don t worry about the state. N of your project. During its first stage just get it created nin its rough initial form and then invite feedback n.

And constructive criticism. Once you re ready to start n. Shaping the prototype into something that s truly n. Worthy of being finished number three work n with a deadline.

Now. This is the practice n. That s helped me overcome my perfectionism. The most when i first started n.

My youtube channel. I had a lot of other n influences and creators that i liked to watch and because of that i had n this excellent taste right. But i d realized that i was n a beginner and if i wanted to meet that ideal nstandard with my videos. I would never be nable to do that and i would never put n anything out there so instead.

I told myself n. I m gonna put out a video every single week and i n remember after i released my first video..


I was having n a conversation with my friend matt and i told him a year from now i want to nhave at least fifty videos out in putting those videos nout every single week as imperfect as they may be has helped me progress a lot now i realize that some people n. Say that creating deadlines and forcing yourself to put n. Things out there in arbitrary. Time isn t necessary and n.

Indeed you need time to meander through your n project and try things and work at your own pace n. And if that works for you and you believe n that that s fine. But remember that there nare differences between adaptive and maladaptive nperfectionism. If your perfectionism is ncausing you anxiety and stress.

Then i think it s a really good nidea to create that deadline and force yourself to finish. You need a structure that n forces you not to focus on the minutia of one n project for too long number four focus on getting n. Just a little bit better each time if you improve one percent each time you make something then overtime that n. Progress compounds and before you know it nyou ve mastered whatever.

It is you re learning creating things n. Putting them out. There. And having the imperfections n.

And mistakes pointed out these are all parts of n. The learning process that have to happen skill and knowledge come n. Through countless iterations not through executing perfectly non. The first iteration.

The skill that you gain through nmaking. The first nine things will allow you to hold n. The tenth one to a degree you didn t even know was npossible when you were making the first one and lastly let your ninfluences inspire you but don t measure n yourself up against them a beginner shouldn t n measure their work against that of a master s if you were to start a n youtube channel tomorrow and you put out n your first video you shouldn t compare it nagainst somebody elses five hundredth video that s not a fair comparison. The only thing you should n.

Measure your work against is your previous work. And when you re looking at n. Things other people have made you can let them inspire you you can let them influence n. You and motivate you to improve.

But don t hold n your work up against theirs and judge yourself nbased on that standard so this is where i m n gonna end this video and to be honest i feel nthat it s imperfect there s a lot more i d n like to say on this topic. There s more research..


I n. Came across and my brain keeps throwing up things n people are going to bring up in the comment ncounter arguments other points. And i want to cover them all. But like i said earlier nthere s a deadline.

And i just have to finish n this and put it out there is it perfect no but i do think it s n. Useful and that is enough plus as a friend of mine. N. Who s a professional speaker.

Once told me the audience n. Never knows what you didn t say hopefully. What i did say was n. Helpful to you in some way.

Thanks for watching hey there guys thanks so n much for watching this video. If you want to get new nvideos every single week on being a more n effective student. You can hit that big red n. Subscribe button right there and i also wrote a book on n.

How to get better grades which is absolutely n free so if you want that click the picture of the n book and i ll send you one. If you want to read the n. Companion blog post for this video. You can click the norange logo right there.

And last week s video n. Was about what to do when you re sitting in a time crunch. It s one of my best videos ever nso definitely check it out and lastly. I m tomfrankly n.

Both on twitter and instagram. If you want connect or ask n. Questions or you could just leave a comment down below. ” .

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There are at least 2 mistakes in this video. Oh well.

My book “10 Steps to Earning Awesome Grades” is completely free, so check it out if you re interested in improving your grades!

http://collegeinfogeek.com/get-better-grades/

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Videos you might want to watch next:

“Motivation Groundwork” – building systems that FORCE you to get things done: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OO2ajzXu-Wg

Self-Discipline Advice from a Roman Emperor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sK1yXHGCGc

How to avoid stupid mistakes on exams: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OY6Z8gNKp-w (because overcoming perfectionism DOESN T meaning doing things sloppily)

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If you want to get even more strategies and tips on becoming a more productive, successful student, subscribe to my channel right here:

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perfectionism, perfection, perfectionist, overcome perfectionism, perfectionism anxiety, procrastination, being a perfectionist, anne lamott, bird by bird, o…

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