(Some of) The Best of John Mulaney – YouTube

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“Sharks. I m mike harwick and i m. Sarah pond we re here to present present our company surf set. Fitness we are seeking 150000.

For 10 equity in our surf s up fitness is surf. Inspired. Exercise. Equipment and group fitness.

Classes. This is the rip surfer x. It s the world s first total body surf trainer. We ve designed it to mimic the instability of a surfboard on water and we have here with us leakey petersen.

She s one of the top 10 female surfers in the world and she s here to show you a few of her moves. So ladies gonna walk through the pop up this is one of our moves and surf set. It s extremely challenging it s an athletic move. She s gonna use her arms her core balance stability.

You can see she s rocking side to side all about the imbalance now. She s gonna show you how a surfer would dive under a wave. This is called a duck dive you can see she s engaging their triceps her chest really working the arms the core and we re gonna finish with what we call a waterwalker so it s similar to a one legged squat. You can see she s trembling a little bit.

She s engaging every muscle in her core her legs. So we re here today sharks. Because we have more interest in orders than we can handle and we need your help that looks like it s very hard for the average person to do any of those exercises. That s quite complex.

It s very difficult to stay stabilized. Let s take an average rose all right robert absolutely your shoes off get the full experience. If you can she made it look pretty easy it didn t look that hard i got to be armed. So she s had some experience we get up one foot at a time all right.

I ll step on there you go and then bend the knees get into your car band you re surfing motion look in what was the really hard one place was the one foot one leg and then you just go like that is if you re like stroking through the water with xscape. It s a little harder a little shaky on there you go that was good thanks. How do you change the the levels. So you want to make this hard snap these off and it goes just like that that makes it harder you can take all three off and are those on both sides.

Yes. What happens. If you weigh 300 pounds can you still use it for betsey boy. I gotta tell you i m a little tired.

She yeah..


How d you come up with the idea this guy was so i was a professional hockey player and i ve been a lifelong surfer. I was getting towards the end of my career. I decided you know i want to surf a little bit more and every time then i spent more time in the ocean. I was i felt better on my skates if i performed better i had better seasons.

I really found right then that there is a tie between fitness and surfing. We made 150 thousand dollars in four months running classes. So we took it to new york our 11 machines. We set up in a very large gym.

There believe it or not it just media windfarm hollywood. We had people paying 35 a class sold out classes for the entire four months. I m getting more interested how much is this unit retailing for 400 and your cost. 150.

You re gonna have to get this down to 100 for it to retail at 400. It s not a problem who s running the show here on the business. It s a good question so when i went to europe. I got my mba tried it in finance for a little bit you tried finance you said yeah.

It was in finance so do you think there s anything odd about valuing this company at 15. Million dollars um. No we ve also had 200 enquiries for franchising to open private studio. So you re coming here for not only our money but our strategic assistance.

But you re only offering us. 10. Why would you offer us. So little it might be a little right now.

But that 10 of a large company. It s got a company that we have to work for cuz. We don t want you guys to work for us. We want to work for you in a sense.

We want you to be able to make a phone call and we want to show up how much you think those phone. Calls cause a lot it took me 20 years. It s kissing a lot of butts to get some of those people on my role evaluate so highly. I m gonna make you an offer because i think that it s a great idea you could actually go out there and hire professional surfers to be your certifiers and trainers.

Which would give you a lot of. Authentication because of that i think you re gonna need more than 150000. In cash to do it right and in order to make an investment in this i have to have enough skin in the. Game.

So what i m gonna do is offer you 300000..


For 33. So what what just happened. There is he knocked the value down from eight and a half to nine hundred thousand. But i ve put in you a position to get out there and not have to stress about how much cash you have for inventory and to not stress about hearing.

These guys nick one time you got nickel dime for 33. Yes. Yes. It s an interesting offer mike i see that business a little bit differently.

I think you don t need the professional surfer guys. I think they re great. But i think that can be intimidating to a lot of people. The trainers need to be bubbly energetic.

I ll give you 150 thousand things should give up that much equity. It s gonna go big for 20 percent. So a lower valuation is basically what you re saying. I m saying keep more equity nobody starts a company out of their basement and works their butt off to give up one third of it at this stage don t gamble your future until you know what you have a lower valuation for this finding every time.

I say something here s somebody else talking it only that i cash it out so that s always happening i mean ii mean. I have a an offer as well i own many crossfit gyms. So i understand that lifestyle and the culture. I m willing to give 150.

But unlimited manufacturing of the board s 25 for free you re giving the boards for free give you the cash right so you get um. You re a finance guy. That s why i m not messing around yeah. But when you go through that cat when you go through that cash you still have to put it back in you have to put it back in i m giving you cash and then i ll manufacture the boys sarah mike.

What are you gonna do music. All. Five sharks are still in and sarah and might have three offers on the table keep an eye on one thing here these offers come in because it matters. You started with a million and a half asked for the value of what you ve created here mark knocked.

You down thirty three percent to nine hundred thousand these two very greedy sharks have knocked you down half of what you asked for also manufacturing is as plus yes. It s just factory mike. You re gonna have the money anyway. It s not just factoring.

It s not at all you re gonna want to do a peril. You re gonna want to do boardshorts. You re gonna want to do a bunch of things no you re not no you re not they re already selling a lifestyle robert no no but not the beginning the way they re gonna fail is by doing too many things at once. But they don t know to do too many things at once if they have me on that side you know what i like damon s better i like the apparel thing.

I think i want a piece of your deal..


I want to stop here. I like it better than marx. I just want to give you a word of caution. The best guy for you on this deal is mark.

Cuban smart lady. What that s ridiculous. Why you re honest you say it like it is and you re crazy. Thing.

No you just be quiet please mark s that way he s much richer than you. But he s cut out of the same cloth right now what i m going to offer you is to take half of why d you suck up to everybody up here. And it s totally up to mark the reason you should listen is nobody builds a faster more well run sales network than i do i know that is absolute crap mike come on mike. I started a company nine years ago.

Three guys were 160. People today and a hundred million in sales. We need 52 million last quarter. This is what this is you ve got a great plan you gotta execute.

I rolled out six crossfit gyms in the last four months as well as a big training program. And if you know anything about crossfit is very hard to get certified yes. But he s a short man. And wow.

So mark are you in or are you out with bar he always dressed it up a little when you had a microphone on in the bathroom. But now you really have to be worried so the only thing i did differently because i peed regular and stuff. And i didn t talk to myself at all. But i washed my hands like loudly and and traditionally with lather and everything being like the sound guy must think i m the best real quick before i get into anything the nine thing about it.

The jinx is my favorite show ever that i hope doesn t win an emmy. Because no for real cuz who s gonna win the emmy. That andrew jarecki and the hbo people i don t have this much venom for him. But all those people are gonna get up there and get an emmy and who should get an emmy.

Our little friend our. Dear friend bobby the jinx should win every emmy. That s ever been invented. He has been more this guy is so good at being on tv.

Did you see the jinx did you see it young girl did you see the jinx this guy this guy. This guy killed. Three people and yet you ll watch it young lady and you ll go i like this guy. Why do i like this guy.

How old are you you re..


13 perfect age you ll be sitting there and you go look at me. I m 13. And i love this guy. And i asked what s your name lucy.

That s great so i i asked my wife. I was like why do people keep marrying the jinx and she went oh i get it. She said. Because he s so confident and lucy.

He is confidence is the biggest currency. We have you know no no this is prepared material. Lucy coz. Think about it lucy no one in the oj simpson.

Trial. Won an emmy from 94 to 95. There you didn t need to watch any tv shows. There s thing called oj simpson trial.

And it was the it was the best thing that ever happened on tv. Ever is a murder trial sounds terrible right. It was so goddamn entertaining these people delivered everyone in that trial delivered. They went up and they went what s your name.

I m kato. Kaelin all right here s the ball on the tee and a nadie would knock it out of the park and there was a guy named johnny cochran and this guy does not have an emmy. He s dead. He died he died without an emmy.

And this was the most entertaining man you d love him lucy. This guy would put on a knit cap and goof around with the murder evidence either one of two things happen. And we truly don t know either oh jay simpson. Murdered his wife and then like took off a glove and was like you know did like throw.

It over his shoulder was like done with that glove you hide of that i do he threw away his glove or a cop planted the glove both very entertaining so oj had to try on the gloves in front of the jury. Lucy. I know you all know this i m telling lucy and he gets out he s like oh these are my gloves and he tries to put him on he goes he actually bit his tongue go watch it it s on youtube. I watched it recently keep going right and then he goes like thanks very much for listening to me my name is down.

You re really fun thank you music. ” ..

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Take a look back at some of John Mulaney s best bits, in which he reveals why he had to stop drinking and how he ended up accidentally chasing a woman through the subway. (Contains strong language.)

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