FACE THE PAYNE (Max Payne saga Parody) – YouTube

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“Guys welcome looks like we are almost ready to start uhm does anybody know this this guy called max payne enters bullet time whoops uh sorryi m late uh wooah t uhm painkillers time moves forward and nothing changes yeahexcept for my fu king face goddamnit . I used to be a respected police officer. One of the toughest guys on the street hei max going hunting again tonight. Uh just a regular day for me.

It s the nypd drop your weapons. Oh sh t. It s payne. Kill.

Him. I had the euu ability the power to slow down time. I mean look at that sh. T just look at it it s fu king amazingisn t it.

But maybe. I was too good for those criminal scams out there to let me get away with that one day. I was coming home after work. I knew that something wasn t feeling right.

The door was opened and a symbol was painted on the wall like an evil satanic cult. Or something a message in blood was also written on our baby s bedroom door welcome too die payne hahahaha. But i was too upset to check the spelling errors. I needed to cross that door i found my son dead on the floor covered in blood at least.

He fought with honor like a real payne would do..

But the worst was yet to come in the next room. A wall of instagram photos. Was staged over our bed. My wife was lying lifeless on the sheets.

Like a beautiful angel. She died for a deadly cocktail of stalking and vintage photo filters. Every detail was telling me that this abomination was designed by a gang of hipsters. I could feel the smell of their flanel shirts.

Still in the air screams in pain from that day on that horrible sight transformed my face into a painful static horrible expression an incurable paralysis that turned me into a monster long scream a couple of days after the accident. I was asked to come to the police station. I didn t know the reason yet but something felt strange it seemed like all my colleagues were missing even if their computers were on my boss took my police badge off. And said that i was a danger for the department.

Because everyone was scared of my sight. No one could face my terrible deformation. The city that once i was defending now was rejecting me how ironic i started drinking so bad. And my metaphor rate was rising like the darkness inside me yeah.

It doesn t make. Sense but i thought it was cool to say this even my secret lovemona. Saxshe wouldn t recognize me anymore. Oh.

My god noooooooo the desperation in me was unbearable..

But i felt like i wanted to enjoy my life even so like a stillborn baby. Who sees the rays of the sun for the first time. I didn t want to hide in a dark room forever. So i decided to try merging among the people anyway without thinking too much about my condition but.

It wasn t that easy at all kid sighs ok max you are surrounded put this bag slowly on your face. And nobody will get hurt ok gets hit and spits both cops freeze. But i knew my time was not over so i started fighting the crime from the underworld. Bringing justice in the city like a deadly executioner wow.

Mister payne. Glad you joined the party growls. Angry both screaming in fear plastic surgery was still off the hook for me plus. I was spending all my savings on painkillers and bullets.

But day by day hiding in the shadows like a deadly ghost. The heat of every single battle carved my face into a mix between geroge clooney and bruce wills to finally become the ultimate middle age sex symbol. I even shaved my hair to look more badass. But the fans where not to happy with that at first oh c.

mon really bald. This is bullshit. I also became a mercenary for a rich family in san paolo for some time protection job pretty nice vacation. But honestly i was tired of saving that bitch ass all day and if it wasn t for the good money.

I would have shoot her in the mouth right away..

Fu king bad musical taste whore. Well. At. Least the.

Local language was easy to understand . But then one day. I surprisingly received a call from the police station. They offered me to get back on duty.

Because they knew that the real max payne was returned what a buch of backstabbing. Dogs but it was my second chance as. Copso i accepted than a few months later. I received a mysterious phone call hello.

Phone looks like your punishment was not enough severe meet me at the national airport on tuesday at 5 pm. Michelle was involved in this so i decided to meet the mysterious guy without any backup. With me so that no one knew i was there sh t. Can we just stop putting text everywhere like kindergarten c.

mon drop your fucking weapon payne or we are going to hell. All togheter. What a nice happy ending uh getting shot in the head by a psychopath something that was not in my agenda woah nice clothes grandpa angry oooooh screaming woooooooaaaahhh enters bullet time yes maybe time changes but when i speak bullet language. I never learn i always talk too much mister payne.

I m afraid to inform you that you have been severely injured..

After the accident therefore we had to take some esthetic measures doctor grey please proceed heavy angry breathing screams in slow motion chokes sh tthat guy is crazy hell yeah. Wanna make out police chopper stop right there payne. We got you screams loud. Desperate long scream c.

mon max. It s over you know what to do now. And so here. I am now abandoned like a rat in a lonely.

Cage maybe i was righttime moves forward. But nothing changes looks like you are lucky max here. s your cell mates. Uh oh.

. You must be fu king kidding. Me. ” .


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