Being A Bi Guy Isn t Easy…

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“Gender do you prefer overall or is it literally 50. 50. One of the first first things my friends asked me when i came out bisexual is do i prefer or women or is it like a 50 50 split. And i would have to be honest.

And say i don t really know for me. It s never really 50 50. It kind of just goes up and down. And you know sometimes you like girls.

More sometimes you like boys more can go through phases as well for me honestly. It really depends on my mood. Sometimes i prefer men some women sometimes. I don t prefer either.

It s it s a very weird situation. This is a really hard question because i have never like preferred a me gender. I think it more dependence to me on the personality of the person. If there are a man there a madman there are all in there a woman.

It doesn t really matter to me as long as i m attracted to them go ahead and talk about boys and girls. It also depends on who i m around if i m with my girlfriend. I kind of have that shoulder we talk about boys are that cute guy across the street. I don t really count it as a purpose you know like my first set.

It s like you don t really divide that i m more physically attracted to the person not their body voice. So maybe. It is like 50 50. But it really depends on the person and not the gender for me.

I don t care you have a penis every diner as long as i like you as a bad. But of course it goes up and down really or if i m with the lab. Then i m gonna be talking about girls kind of girls. We like stuff like that sometimes i feel like more in fact to do men.

And sometimes i feel more attracted to women. It s weird like that i guess. But i i and you have a boyfriend now. But that doesn t mean that i find men more attractive than women.

It s just that i find my boyfriend. This person more attractive than other people doesn t go by personally emotions or sexuality above. I think my boy sexual seeker is boy more of everything i like a combination. I don t really just look first nice.

I don t just look for physical bugs all of the above definitely. It s not just about the sex because i m a very emotional person so to have an unemotional connection with someone i think is very very important. I think it goes for all of the above for me to fall in love with a person. I need to love their personality and i don t just look for emotional connection.

I look for everything because i want a relationship. I want what s long lasting. If the sex is great good if the emotions are great good. If you have a shitty personality.

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If you re not a good person. I i wouldn t go for you and i feel like a lot of people have my same mentality. They said. It s about the person not the body parts and of course when the personality is just right.

And my emotions start to react on that then i know something is happening personality wise that personality has to be kill regardless of gender. So i don t think you know i think about gender in that kind of sense personality and emotion is so key in any relationship and if we take it a bit further and the sex is amazing you can t deny it can you there are boys. Such as you are like that some people do just want a physical experience. Some people do just want an emotional experience.

As some people do just one age sexual experience. That s all down to then as a person. What are the different challenges you face when pursuing different sexes. Do you find one more challenging when it comes to getting with females for being a bisexual guy trying to get with females is a lot harder than you would think yeah definitely so like for me.

Because i m quite effeminate to be honest. I don t really like being described as that because i m just who i am. I don t try to be effeminate that s just factor of who i am yes there are different challenges when you go out to different sexes. I find going after women harder than going after men i don t really need to go after men when you re openly bisexual that it s a little hard to find a female partner.

But i definitely say that i find it easier to get with guys. I think women are more complex and more difficult to understand i find it easier to understand the guy because i am a guy cuz that s a guy myself. I know how god operates and how a guy reacts to things and if i m in the right environment. Then getting a guy is pretty easy and less difficult than getting a girl.

I kind of know what guys want and i act upon that and i don t really find it hard to pick up guys or to make guys chase me. But with women it s a lot more complicated because i m not a woman and i find women more complicated do you ever notice differences in how you act with partners of the same gender versus. The opposite section o. Their genders in applicable.

I have kind of a big difference when it comes to me being me in a relationship with a guy or me being a relationship with a girl. I don t act different with the genders. It doesn t really like i acted the exact same way with dating. A guy was dating a girl it s hard to explain that i want to take care of the girl.

I want to be the guy who can like pick the girl up and and really take care of her and make her feel safe. But when i m in a relationship with a guy. I really like being the guy who s being taken care of the only difference is that if i was dating. A guy is the type of guy that i would beginning would be a very masculine man.

A woman. It would be a very feminine do girls more often think you being bi is less attractive or more attractive or neutral. See that s the thing it really depends on the girl because some girls. I mean it s 27g like nobody really cares at this point to be fat this kind of like moment in myself.

Where i feel a little bit anxious or a little bit scared of this girl knows that i m bisexual you know this is a really hard question. I i haven t really noticed one thing or the other when i told my ex girlfriend that i was bi. She was really supportive. I just told her and it was like yeah.

Okay. That s you and and we just went on with it there are certain people that who they re like okay. My friends are gonna think that like my friends might think something of me. If i did this my sexual guy is she going to find me less attractive is she going to be turned off because i m bisexual because i like other guys or is she gonna be okay with it that s honestly an initial reaction that i get in myself a little bit of anxiety and fear that girls are gonna find me less attractive because of that tray of mine.

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She wasn t more attracted to it she wasn t like oh that s really attractive. But she wasn t like oh. My god i don t like that i think that s disgusting. I guess she was neutral.

I ve never met a girl and found it really disgusting or a girl who was really like oh. My god that s so hot. I think the prisoners are like you for who you are then that s no reason to be with them some lesbians refused to date. Bisexual women because they are bi and lesbian.

One friend. I know has had lesbian women car her hateful names when they found out. She was bi have you ever had a gay male refuse to date you or direct a towards you because of your identity. Is bi.

No definitely not i ve never had that experience personally then we come back to like the gay guys are just really rude and mean because they don t accept me for who i am. I heard the instance is that this happened to other people. But for me personally it hasn t happened at least yet if i m talking about to a guy on the korean bisexual and like usually finds it any more attractive because of it because i don t have the feminine call these gay slash by the guys that i ve been with have been pretty open to the fact and accepting of the fact that i m bi. They re saying.

That my sexuality is not legit and they re just telling me straight to my face that you re still in the closet. I ve never met a gay guy who doesn t want to date me because i m bi do you get a lot or less hate than a bi girl would from straight and gay community. I don t know many bisexual women but from speaking to a lot of straight guys. I can see that a lot of straight guys be kind of disrespectfully of bisexual women.

They kind sima sex objects rather than than people being by is not something i think about every single day to think about hatred. When it comes to the community. I know like here in norway. I know by guys gets more hate than by girls.

I mean not really. It s basically the same thing. It s if you re gonna be skeptical about being bisexual and you re gonna be skeptical. It s not the thing about like being male being people and i think it s the same thing.

Quite gratuitous quite vulgar towards bisexual women and i feel like it s that that you don t get hate they get a lot of disrespect about them. And i really don t like that i feel like that s something that we ve got dicks as a community right change people s opinion bye girls. Bye boys or people directing by hate towards me. It s not something i think about like i said.

The gay guys don t think we re out of the closet. Yet and don t believe that bisexuality is the thing straight guys are intimidated by gay guys sometimes and don t like it. But when it comes to by girls. It s more accepted in this community like a lot of straight guys find it really hot.

When girls are by yes. So my big boy sex with no that does not mean that they are promiscuous. No that does not mean that they want to have a threesome with you it just means that they are people and we should respect them as people i have felt and i have experienced that more hate against by guys than by girls in my community. That s what it comes down to how by guys not open to polyamorous relationships.

I think when it comes to polyamorous relationships. It s more down to the person rather than sexuality. I mean at least myself i like to have like if i have somebody i m not sure that s definitely not gonna happen. What is that now so i don t think that by guys are more open to that at all so to deal with more than one person is gonna be a lot for me i couldn t do that i am not open to a polyamorous relationship now i could say from being bisexual and my experience that i don t really like the idea of having that sort of relationship and i don t know anyone who is but i m sure there are plenty of boy sexual people out that i think straight guys would want a polyamorous relationship.

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Just as much as a by guy would once i think it comes down to who you are what you want and not sexuality. Do girl slash guys go up to you and are like oh you re bi that s hard let s have a threesome in my experience since i ve come out i ve never had anyone go out to me and say you re bisexual that s hard. But have a threesome. I ve only been asked by gay couples to do with threesome and not a straight couple and not two girls either oh.

My gosh. I have had requests to be in a threesome with that partner. But i have had conversations with people in the past where i have started off as a nice conversation having a little chitchat and then also in banking. They ve sent me a nude.

I flipped my lid. I m like what are you doing that fun oh i thought you re bisexual. I wish. And i think a lot of that has to do with if there s a straight guy in a relationship with a girl.

I don t think he wants to have a threesome where there s another guy involved. I think he wants a threesome where there s another girl involved so i ve always said no maybe in the future. I don t know i don t really like that connotation. What people have with boy sexual for some reason.

They re a lot more open to sending nudes and being a little bit more sexualized around them. I mean i ve had an offer of a threesome on tinder. I knew the couple and they gave me an offer on tinder because i guess they were intuition. I think straight guys are more scared of being labeled as gay than straight girls are afraid of being labeled as gay or bi.

If they bring in another girl in a threesome. Me my experience. I d rather just have a conversation with someone if i feel something with them i will express it first whatever comes after that it s fine. But don t just spanger an image of you butt ass naked to me because really i find that kind of disrespectful and rude why are bi guys rare.

I think while there might be a lot less bisexual men openly out there it s because there s a lot less idols for bisexual men. I don t feel like we have a lot of celebrities that we can look up to and kind of go like they re awesome a lot of straight guys. I think up by but they don t want to be open to that i don t know but i think there s a lot more by guys out there than we know of because i think a lot of my guys decide not to act upon their gay side or the side. Who also live boys like here.

David bowie s and your freddie mercury s people who ve done amazing. Things. And you can go go they re my idol that awesome. There s not enough of that for bisexual men.

And i feel like that s kind of one things what kind of draws us back. We don t want to open and confess that we re bisexual because we re afraid of how people would treat it because we can t say. Oh my oh you re bisexual now awesome because males. I believe have got this male bravado thing of being too proud of being masculine guys we just want to show off our manhood a lot of straight guys let me tell you would they would have sex with a guy they wouldn t even say it to themselves.

They won t even accept themselves for liking or being attracted to other guys. I feel like there s that fear around the whole idea of being open about it. It s also the fact that a lot more people judge you because they feel like you know you want to sleep with them men or women. I think it s a lot more easier for buy guys to just choose the girl and to end up with a girl and never really try they re there by side because it s already really really hard for gay guys to live with other guys and to probably love with other guys and i think that negative connotation kind of puts a lot of people and then you are bisexual.

I m coming out guys have told me that you know they feel this way. People have told. Me secrets that you know they like guys secretly well obviously. They re not gonna tell anyone because people are gonna think that gay.

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There s a lot of hidden by guys out there just choose to be with a girl because it is the most accepted and it s not even about that you can like both you can like boys and girls how did you face the hate inside your own community. There have been a few times. When i ve spoke to people in the community and they ve had very negative things to say towards me and my bisexuality you know people must think i m gay because i act a certain way and i wear makeup. And i do beauty on my youtube channel that i m just going to be gay and i just like boys.

But that is not the case for me women are so beautiful and we are all made to be beautiful so what is not face the hate inside my own community. I have to be completely 100 percent sure of myself and proud of myself no one can change that not even the people in my own freaking community can change who i am. And that is something i have to come to terms with myself let s be honest about what they are it s pixels on a screen. It doesn t mean anything unless you personally make it mean anything.

It s not about anybody else s preference except yours and that shouldn t matter to anybody else. Except you if you have a partner. Okay that s not a matter of your partner. But it s a part of that you choose whatever sex that maybe whatever race.

They may be just doesn t matter. My phobia is always gonna be a thing just like people are not always gonna be accepting like as long as you believe in who you are and and not everyone are going to accept you for who you are but those people they re not worth having in their lives. I have a bunch of people in my life who accept me for who i am who accept and validate my sexuality maybe i do act this way. But that doesn t define me as i can t be bisexual and that s enough for me that s what i need the other people in my community.

Don t believe me who don t validate who i am and who try to change me i think that s bull. They re not worth it they re not my friends and that s something i have come to terms with to say that i can t be attracted to girls just because i have to sit away like how do you deal with biphobia within the lgbt community. And what advice would you give to a young person struggling with biphobia around them honestly like as long as you know what you are as long as you know what you identify as well you want to identify as a chair. Whether you want to be sexually active with a chair.

It doesn t matter it doesn t define who you are as a person. It s just your preferences and people should be okay with that whether it s your parents whether it s anybody for me. I haven t really felt i need sort of i phobia and if people think badly towards me. Because of that because i think they can feel that way they can think that way i m not gonna change how they feel and thing.

I had been struggling for a long time to figure out who i was and i finally figured it out and i was so happy about it and i could finally go into community and be 100 myself. But then these guys started hating on me. And i was met with by phobia and that made me really mad because i was like i m just being myself please respect me and my sexuality like i respect you and your sexuality so in the beginning. I was really mad and i was like you can tell me who i am.

I know who i am let them be skeptical. It s your life. It doesn t really matter whether you re skeptic or not because you know what you want i m just gonna let them be let them live their life. But now i m more like people can call me whatever they want it doesn t change anything i am.

Who i am no matter. What people call me. And you just have to come to terms not everyone will believe you or respect you i m not really bothered you know what makes you happy and that s what you re gonna do. But the most important thing is that you believe and respect yourself okay yeah.

I mean you can keep i ll just use this for my own pleasure. My personal. I m not getting you re not gonna get to see this good morning goins boy. Friends and everyone else in between i m here with ” .

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