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“By dropping the one ring into the fires of mount doom frodo vanquished sauron forever forever and banished him from the land gandalf rescued frodo from mount doom by sending giant eagle into the mouth of the great volcano to pluck frodo from certain death. And return him safely to the shire. The fellowship gathered one last time to celebrate their victory hobbits dwarves elves and men welcome back to the shire. I ve brewed some hinkle.
Very fizzy wigs for you all to enjoy come let us celebrate the end of this great war gandalf. What the fuck. What is it my little hobbit you want to tell me how the fuck long you had a giant goddamn eagle. Well i ve been friends with the eagle kind for longer than you d care to know or i d care to remember cut the shit you oval fruit frodo got stabbed in the arm by a nazgul that hurts oh well i m glad to see that everyone made it home from their journey.
Everyone didn t make it home from their journey. Boromir is dead asshole. I got lost in the caverns of mount doom and had to fight a giant spider. I have nightmares every night.
Oh well we all have our nightmares that we must overcome and everybody shut the fuck up standoff. Why the fuck didn t you just get the ring of power to your eagle. Friend and let him drop it in the caverns of mount doom well eagles. Cannot be trusted with that sort of immense power.
I mean our bet sort of power can be very corrupting. So you know frodo was young and stout as hobbits all want to be and he just you know i used him well. Then you should have had the eagle carry me with the ring in my hand to mount tube. Then pick me up and bring me back home then we would have gotten all this done much more quickly and boromir would still be alive for oh man.
Oh. My god he s gone. It s just sinking in its final. I fucking hate you i fucking hate you i am a wizard.
And i will not be interrogated by the likes of you no no no he s just using this fishing line going from his finger to that light switch over there. I gotta let pipe in my hand. That says this old fuck ai. N t magic only one way to find out and rape him they did again and again repeatedly and repeatedly they would rape him to death s door and then nurse him back to health and then rape him back to death s door.
They did it again and again throughout the centuries gandalf raping became a tradition passed down from ancestor to ancestor generation to generation a holiday was created called gandalf raping day and on this day. Once a year. They would stop raping gandalf and nurse him back to health. But as sure as the sun would rise the next day.
The raping was right back on until one day in the year 11 t. 20. Teens. A mischievous young hobbit by the name of goo doo.
Forgot what day it was and raped gandalf on gandalf raping. Day thus not allowing him time to be nursed back to health and killing him everyone thought this was hilarious and erected a giant statue of guddu that stands in ” ..
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