Why Do Some Women Have Rape Fantasies?

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“Is is culturally defined okay and so when you you know all this stuff is is cultural their homosexuality is culturally defined right. We think we know what we re about when we talk about homosexuality. But there are cultures well look at the ancient greeks and romans right was much more accepted than and then and there s you know all kinds of historical figures that you know were into men sure and and like in papua new guinea they re their tribes. There that believe that semen contains the essence of masculinity so the young boys who want to grow up to be the most badass warriors suck as much dick as possible so that they ll be macho.

That s amazing god people are so fascinating right so now we look at that and we re like well that s gay right. But they ve in within their cultural framework. That s not gay. I m macho right you know i m becoming manly.

That s not what i do you know in our culture. It s like you want to be macho. What do you do you play football. Well.

That s a lot of time naked with other dudes man a lot of butt padding. You know or you or you you re in the military like okay hmm like those uniforms. Don t you i mean i don t know i m not call. I m not you know given anyone our time.

I m just saying that these things are very malleable and rape is another one like orangutan that which are one of the great apes. The the way they have sex is the male s chase. The females through the treetops until they catch her and she s screaming and they have sex. We look at that and we say fuck that s rape that male he s bigger area chases her she s running away.

She s screaming. But that is the normal mating behavior of that animal so when we call that rape. We re applying something to it how do we know what that experience is right how do we how do we even apply language to it it s very complicated to get into that stuff. And it s interesting to look at like old kind of you know myths that have perpetuated in society for so long like look at like the vampire myth.

You know there s a lot of like yeah questionable dominance and rape wrapped up in that but so many women find the idea of vampirism sexy..


I mean i do too it s like this this man he comes and he overpowers you and he sucks your blood. And he drains you and okay. You know what i m saying like there s there s some very like if he kind of yeah. I never got that vampire thing i maybe that s a more of a woman thing.

But i think as you know the the rape fantasy. I think one aspect of it that that we can talk about pretty you know without getting into evolutionary stuff. Where it gets really dicey is that because women have been shamed for their sexuality for so long in western culture. I mean we re talking thousands of years and not just shame like you know you re a slut.

But like you might be killed. Yeah. You might you re a witch. Your children can be taken away from you.

And yeah. I mean really the worst possible punishments and you look at like middle eastern societies. This dough needed. It s still doing it you stone you to death for the crime of having been raped yeah right i mean that s how bad.

It is right so within that context. It s not surprising that a woman s sexual response could be filtered through being powerless because being powerless means you can t say no you can t refuse it so then like you don t you don t have to have responsibility right for having engaging that sexual activity and god forbid possibly having and have actually enjoyed it right so societies kind of taken female desire and created this skewed sort of fantasy around like rape. You re not allowed to enjoy it right you re not allowed to want it right so. The only way you can have it is if it s forced on you right and then it s not really your fault.

So that s the one place. Where you can that animal part of you can be expressed right. Yeah. And then just to be clear like for our listeners like obviously we re not advocating rape rape is a horrible thing rape is you know an incredibly traumatic thing.

But we re just talking about why there is rape fantasies out there that women have been a lot of women have it and i ve talked with so many women that that feel this way and and they are kind of as equally confused about it as i am so it s just an interesting thing to try to explore..


But you do get into like kind of a sticky gray arian. Yeah people get real touchy about that well people s experience is is personal. It s their experience. But you know talking about the cultural definition.

These things. There s a fantastic short essay written by an australian anthropologist. A woman christine something i don t remember her last name. But it s called.

I think the title is it s only a penis and she s writing. She s a feminist and and she s writing from a feminist perspective. She was living with a tribe in papua new guinea and at night. A man snuck into a woman s hut and tried to crawl into bed.

With her and she woke up and started screaming and hitting him. And he tripped over the mosquito net and sort of fell out the window. And it turned into this keystone cops situation and the next morning. She she d heard the ruckus at night and then the next morning.

She was there with the other women and they were all laughing and you know mimicking this guy tripping and falling and all that and and she said. Why are you laughing like he tried to rape you and they were like would you know her sheet in their language. There was no word for that to achieve news. So she explained like he was trying to he wanted to have sex with you in the was like yeah.

Yeah. And she s like well. But you didn t want him to and he wanted to anyway and you know that s a crime and he could have hurt you and and the women were just looked at her totally confused and sort of like feeling bad for her and and one of the women. Said christina.

How could he hurt you it s only a penis and then they that is a mate that is wow that is so i mean that is it s a really interesting..


I d really recommend it i can find it for you before you leave. And it s available online. Anyone who wants to find it it s there pdfs out there. But she gets into this whole thing about how in the western cultural paradigm.

We see male sexuality as aggressive invasive penetrating. Powerful and female sexuality is vulnerable passive you know very like fragile and that that s just the way we choose to look at it. That s not the way. It is in itself.

Right and a lot of cultures look at it totally differently for example. At this point in history in western culture. We see male sexualities being insatiable and uh you know but in many parts even in western culture in many historical eras. The women were seen as the insatiable.

The women were the one who would corrupt a decent young man who was you know gonna be a priest and this crazy harlot would come and drag him off into the bushes and have her way with him you know now the only place you see that kind of motif is important insatiable. You know nina hartley or something yeah. Because we re kind of because porn is so afraid of pushing you know sexual boundaries too far and to touch on those touchy subjects like rape. It s stuff.

Like that now we can we re allowed to reverse the roles. Where the women can be sexually a good right. But we very careful yeah we re in jail. That s where they are exactly.

And it s interesting to what you just brought up about how you know male sexuality. Is seeing as penetrating and aggressive and women s sexuality is seen as fragile even when we in you know our little porno culture. Talked about addition seen doing girl girl and boy girl like it s not such a big ideal to do girl girl. But then once you start doing boy girl.

Which is of course you know having sex with men girl girls having sex to girls that s like the next step in that and that s almost like you know some people consider like that s when you can ruin yourself you know so like so will normally say to a girl when she comes into the industry will say all right start in the industry and then start off doing solo girl..


If you can what you really can t do anymore. Because there s no more work in that line of work as since the internet. Everybody just wants to see banging start off girl girl get yourself girl girls not that big of a deal you know and do some girl girl duke girl girl as long as you can and then take that next step boy girl when you re really ready to throw yourself into the industry and and make more money and then like really solidify yourself as a porn star and i ll even find myself saying when people say to me like oh. She s a hardcore porn star.

But she only does girl girl. It s you know it s no big deal like it s like because it s like it s not sex. Which is also a lot of these women aren t buy right so. What you re doing is saying you know start off by faking it right not that they re not faking.

It with guys all right. But at least if you re if you re straight. You re you know doing the thing you would be doing whereas if you re with girl girl. It s like well.

But it like changes you you know and y all. Had a tration is exactly i mean. It s like once they get. And you know again penetrated by a penis.

I mean you can get penetrated by a dildo they can get fucked in the ass with a strap on but it s okay cuz. It s just girl girl right once you introduce a man intuitively changes everything you know and girls who only do girl girl will then go and start shooting boy girl and you know some of their fans will be all up in arms about it you ll ruin yourself. Thank you so much for watching. If you enjoyed the show make sure that you subscribe.

So you don t miss a single episode and go check out all the other videos. I film every single one of my podcasts and if you want to listen to the audio version. I m on itunes and all the other podcast platforms visit holly randall and filter ” ..

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