Futurama: Season 2

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“News. Everyone we ve got na. Very special delivery today who s it going to to me another job well done no i need it shipped nto. My office at university.

It s a little experiment that may well win me nthe nobel prize in what field. I don t care they all pay the same is it dangerous on my no low growling gunshot thud off we go very impressive back in the 20th century nwe had no idea there was na university on mars well in those days. Nmars was just a dreary uninhabitable nwasteland much like utah. But unlike utah.

It was eventually nmade livable when the university nwas founded in 2636 they planted traditional ncollege foliage ivy trees hemp soon the whole planet nwas terra formed does that mean it s nsafe to breathe the air of course inhales. Deeply over here is wong library. It has the largest collection nof literature in the western universe fry whistles hey look there s a chapter nof. My old robot fraternity epsilon rho rho you went to college of course i m a bender i went to nbending college.

I majored in bending. What was your minor robo american studies are you here to fumigate nthe moose head uh. No actually i m an epsilon nfrom way back whirring and clanking ah close enough come on in thanks. Here s your finger back.

All. The coolest robots nare in this. Fraternity. Mate.

In 143. Moves. Oh. Poo.

You win. Again. Oh. Oh.

Nerds. Allow me to nintroduce. Myself. I m.

Gearshift. Nchapter. President. This is oily nand this here nis fat bot.

You re all losers my name s bender n. All gasp bender from nbending state. Bender. Wow.

You re a legend naround here. I heard that nin one single night you drank a whole keg nstreaked across campus and crammed 58. Humans ninto. A phone booth yeah well a lot of them nwere children.

Anyway. I should get going no bender wait. We re the lamest nfrat on campus. Even hillel has better nparties than us please.

You ve ngot to stay and teach us how nto be cool hmm okay. But i ll need nten kegs of beer. A continuous tape. Nof.

And a regulation. Ntwo. Story. Panty.


Raid. Ladder. Oh. Boy.

Oh. Boy oh. Boy. I.

Tell. You being here. Nreally. Takes.

Me back to my college days. Step right up who wants to learn physics. Man nkeep your hands ninside the car at all times good old coney nisland college. Go whitefish don t take this nthe wrong way fry.

But you don t. Seem like nthe educated type oh yeah read it and weep i m a certified ncollege dropout. Please everyone knows n20th century colleges were basically expensive nday care centers that s true by current nacademic standards. You re merely a high nschool dropout.

What nthat s not fair. I deserve the same respect nany. Other college dropout. Gets by god.

I m going to enroll here. Nat mars. University and drop out all over again. You.

Won. t. Last two weeks. Ah.

Thanks for believing in me yo classmate nwhatcha taking oh. I don t know professor what are you nteaching this semester same thing i teach nevery semester. I made up the title nso that no student nwould dare take it i ll be there please fry. I don t know nhow to teach i m a professor see you in class exasperated growl.

This is gonna be great bender nbingo. Oh mama wolf whistles. Oh. Yeah.

Someone s been a bad computer robots. Gasp bender nget a load of that all yelling loud crashing. I say you ve damaged nour servants quarters and our servants this time robot house nhas gone too far cheese. It hey huh pretty nice for a single two desks.

Two chairs na couple of beds knocking a woodpecker. I think that s nprobably your roommate oh right cool come on in roomie. What the i call top bunk spits sighs my roommate s a monkey brilliant deduction you re a credit nto your species ah fry ni see you ve nmet guenter. You know each.

Other guenter is my experiment. He was the top secret contents nof this stinking crate. I d rather live nin a crate than share a room nwith. This dork.

So what makes nguenter talk is he genetically engineered. Oh. Please. That s preposterous nscience fiction.


Mumbo jumbo guenter s intelligence nactually lies in his electronium hat which harnesses the power nof sunspots to produce cognitive radiation you re wasting nyour breath professor he ll never understand na word of it i understood the nword. Please stop bickering. I arranged that you be roommates nfor. A reason.

So i d only have to remember. None phone. Number now shake hands and make up you want a banana. I don t eat bananas.

I prefer banana flavored nenergy bars made from tofu. I don t like you beeps chuckles. This is going to be na cake walk welcome to the history nof. The 20th century look to your left nthen to your right then in nine other directions.

One of the 12 of you nwill not pass this class boring. Let s hear about nwalter mondale already be forewarned the only sure way to get an is to have lived in nthe 20th century swish beeping electrical crackling you were saying mr. Fry. I m from the 20th century go ahead ask me anything very well nwhat device invented nin.

The 20th century allowed people to view nbroadcast programs in their own homes. Oh. I know this nwhat do you call it nlite brite electrical crackling scoffing chuckle ni. Believe the answer is nthe television.

Very good mr. Guenter wow. Smart and cute. What i love about being ndean of students is the peace and quiet nand.

The respect i receive phone rings. Now what s all this about woman ndean vernon. The students nfrom robot house are here robot house hey dean nice looking model you keep away from it you robots are a disgrace nto this university whenever a fire alarm nis pulled it s robot house whenever the campus liquor store nis looted robot house whenever a human corpse nis desecrated now i can explain that that s enough out of you from this day. Forth robot house is on dodeca tuple nsecret probation.

No fair. My mom is going nto kill. Me now if you ll excuse me i have to get back to the one nthing that s kept me sane these past eight years nmy model ship fat bot. No when i get nervous ni get hungry cheese.

It dean nrobot house so chrissy. We seem nto be hitting it off if you re not doing nanything later might i escort you nto a kegger not even if you were nthe last man on mars hey you like bananas. I got her number how do you like nthem bananas ooh and therefore nby process of elimination the electron must taste nlike grape ade sorry i overslept until 5 00 pm. It s that obnoxious monkey he kept me up all night nwith his constant thinking just thinking and thinking.

He s trying to make me nlook like an idiot. Don t. Be jealous without his special hat guenter might be no more nintelligent than you oh i hate that rodent fry that monkey is my nmost. Important experiment.

If you two don t nstop fighting. I ll have you nboth neutered chuckles that ll show him string quartet playing dean vernon. I d like you to nmeet. My parents leo and inez ah mr.

And mrs. Wong. I m so glad we could admit amy in exchange. Nfor your generous contribution how much more nfor phi beta kappa how much you got sorry.

I m late. I was off at na study session with chrissy oh i m glad you nmade it guenter because in honor nof parents weekend. I have a special nsurprise for you mom dad. What are you doing here.

Monkeys chattering. This is so humiliating. Now these monkeys. I like chattering.


What s that you want to come out no stop appalled gasps. I say. What s that they re. Nflinging.

At us. Oh. Dear lord all over the dean. Hey.

Uh. Guenter. Nwhy. Don t.

You get up on the chandelier. Nwith your parents and i ll take a picture. Groans well looks like nthis party s winding down let s take a road trip. Nto tijuana and get fat bot.

Some action cheering it s my first time. I m really nervous robot house what you did nto guenter was cruel at the risk of sounding nlike. An after school special. I think we learned nwho the real animal was today you mean peer pressure look out.

He s got a gun leave. Me. Alone hey. What s going on.

I thought nyou didn t like bananas of course. I do i try so hard to fit in but seeing my parents nact like that made me realize ni m just a primitive beast hey hey cheer up not everyone turns out nlike their parents i mean look at me my folks were honest nhardworking. People besides guenter you re nnot like other monkeys. You ve got the hat.

So what i mean sure it looks ncool and it makes me smart. But it doesn t make me happy sobbing that s so sad i didn t. Even know nmonkeys could cry they can t. It s all the hat loud sobbing look guenter.

If you re so nmiserable here. Maybe you should just ngo back to the jungle. The jungle. But i couldn t do that nto the professor.

I m his prize experiment and he s like na father to me. But he s not your father that guy in the punch bowl. Nwas your father farnsworth nlook at him i m so proud fry nthanks professor not you electrical crackling sighs sarcastic chuckling drums playing drums get louder panting gasping agonized shriek chattering glass breaking. Oh.

I always feared he might nrun off like this why why why didn t. I break his legs oh poor guenter. So he just ran away nin the middle of the exam. I m afraid so all he handed in was a paper nsmeared with feces he tied with fry.

I guess he realized ni was right when i told him to go nback to the jungle. You what nafter i spent months slaving over na hot monkey brain. Hey don t blame me you tried to force guenter nto be a human. But he s an animal nhe belongs in the wild nor in the circus on one of those tiny tricycles now that s nentertainment.

But guenter s obviously better off being intelligent tell him leela uh uh. I m staying out of this now here s my opinion what we should do is whispering. What i said we ll ngo to the jungle and let guenter decide nonce and for all what you all know the rules. Whichever house wins.

The regatta becomes head nof. The greek council and should that house currently be on any type of nmultiple secret probation. It will be lifted and i will be forced nto serve as grand marshal of a parade honoring them. I say robot house your watercraft is as ill ndesigned.


As you yourselves good one chet laughing. Oh yeah watch this belching well. I never fraternities on your marks. Air hissing hey wow.

The jungles non mars look just like the njungles on earth jungles on earth laughing. I see some movement up there. I think. It s him stand back oops.

Don t. Worry nthey ll be fine once the ntranquilizer nwears off there s our man professor you ll offer nguenter the hat and fry you ll offer him nthe banana. We ll let him choose whether nhe wants to be intelligent or just a mindless animal murmuring agreement come on guenter ntake. The hat.

No the banana nthe banana. Consider the philosophical nand metaphysical ramifications of the banana banana banana. Wait. What s that sound rock music playing hey bender are you sure nthis is a shortcut not as sure as i was nan hour ago.

All yelling all yelling and the winner is robot house all nwhoa whoa whoa leela nno help relieved sighs thank god this log nis sturdy put on the nhat guenter you re the only one nwho can save us stupid monkey. No not there keep trying quizzical grunts eureka nthe hat goes on the head. It s all so obvious. Now log splintering help us guenter.

Oh. My goodness hang on i need to do nsome calculations. The decimal goes carry the seven got it grab on we re saved appreciate it nguenter hurry guenter nclimb up the vine. You can still nsave yourself.

Why bother. I ve got nothing to live for i was miserable as a genius and as a monkey ni was so dumb. I tried to wear na hat on my butt snickering. There s just no place nfor me in this world.

Although on the other hand yelling distant thud. Oh. That poor nsweet monkey well let s go ngather him up. There s no sense nletting him go to waste guenter nyou.

re alive. I guess the hat must nhave broke my fall it seems to be working nat only half capacity. But i can fix it no wait i like nit like this i actually feel nsort of happy. But what about nyour super intelligence when i had that there was ntoo much pressure to use it all i want out nof life is to be a monkey of moderate nintelligence who wears a suit that s why i ve decided to ntransfer to business school.

No marching band playing come on everyone big party at robot house you know you make me wanna shout kick my heels up and shout throw my hands up and shout throw my head back and shout come on now don t. Forget to say you will don t. Forget to say nyeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Say you will say it right. Now baby. Say you will come on come.

On. Say you will say that you say you will yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Say that you love me. Say that you need me say that you want me you want to please me. ” ..


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