r/JustNeckbeardThings – She s 3000 Years Old, I Swear! (Neckbeard Things – Best Reddit Posts)

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“Redditors of the internet noble xenon here and welcome back to another edit video and and today. We will be looking at our slash just neckbeard things part 36 let get started guys we live in a society. Where being a gentleman is the worst crime known to man. Although this one may be satire.

Vop said. A guy who i go to school with posted. This he s a neckbeard in training well then this next. One s.

An average morning for a healthy good boy. Be 550. Pound. 10 ds.

Vacuum wake up at the crack of dawn 3. Pm. To the delicious son of my favorite food wiggle out of my racecar bed and wade through pee and poop jugs. Looking for one that s only a little full squat on the hole of one and let loose my good boy poopies wipe.

My butt with my old waifu body pillow. The faded image of what was once raven from teen titans is buried under a year s worth of my dried. Juices waddle out of my room for the first time in months screaming. 10 ds 10 ds.

Mummy. Made her good boy 10 ds. Forgot about the staircase hit the first step and twist. My ankle rolled down the steps faster than i ever had before smashed my head on the wall at the bottom causing me to blow diarrhea out of my ass.

And down my legs. Oh. Lord well 4chan is at it again with their disgusting. Yet hilarious green texts this next.

One simply titled. I don t know what to say about this. No m. lady.

Please. I need attention. Please. Ma.

am. Please. Ma. am.

I need feet pics. And you are so nice. Please. My lady.

I will paypal you my entire bank account for pictures of your feet m lady. I will do whatever you want please m lady. I m getting desperate just the toe will do at this point m. lady.

Please no m. lady ignored all of my messages. This next. One wishes.


It was satire. But his profile is super insel. Miller 2023 says good luck getting laid and the neckbeard. Replies.

I have no problem depositing. Some baby gravy into a wet hole anytime. I wish with that being said sex is overrated their pimp them out here to fill my pockets with cash as opposed to f in them. But thanks for the good luck anyway this next.

One was cross posted from our slash people of walmart. They re bringing back the 1300s in style dudes. Wearing the plague doctor outfit. Yet he s missing gloves also is that mountain dew behind him.

This has got to be some sort of sign these neck beards were apparently ready for quarantine because they already got. A whole. Schedule. Written down.

7 am wake up 8. Am. Sleep 9 am play call. Of duty.

Teddy. M play destiny. 11 am. Beat my meat 12 am crosses out the am writes.

Am again which is still wrong eat lunch 1 pm practice swordsmanship 2 pm sleep 3 pm watch anime 4 pm beat my meat 5 pm sleep and stay up late on that doesn t sound like it makes much sense. Unless. Maybe. He s sleeping and then waking up a little bit later in the evening to stay up late and then late night game all.

Night yet he s waking up at 7 am. So i don t understand the end of this schedule here then again after so many parts. I still don t understand neck beards in general so moving on this next. One may just be the ultimate simp may i a woman respecting and feminist supportive male see at least one breast from you my queen.

I do not mean to come on as an improper male and if this request disturbs you please make me aware you my queen to serve the utmost respect of any female. However many of my genders seem to sexualize women and view them as sex toys. However my queen. I do not share these views rather.

I value. The female spectrum of the human race as the superior and i a respectful male a request for the viewing of an isolated singular breast from your body. I await your response my queen and then she replies what in the mother f. But doesn t actually send the message this night.

One was sent today apparently. I m ripe and ready yah every girl has those fantastical desires to lose their virginity on a bed of roses with bird singing songs outside their window under candlelight. But it doesn t happen that way you end up in a situation. Where someone really attractive shows you attention and in that moment.

Wherever you both can escape whether it s in the bathroom or the back of someone s car at your house. When your parents aren t there you go for it and sleep with them. It s for all girls they lose it so easily because in that moment. Having the attention of whichever hot guy is in the mood.

Enough to fu is strong enough to let him have his way with you you offer yourself up to the chad. The jerk. The guy who has already slept with 20 other girls from your grade get rid of your fantasies. It won t happen like that is this real.


Even. The hottest girls in your class end up having a hook up with a random jerk no matter how much you wish for things to be different. The advances that chad s makes are undeniable ok as i said before you must be playing me right the next partier gets together you go to i m thinking. That s when you ll lose yours you re ready now and the first chad that locks eyes with you and shows you that little bit of attention you ll jump right into his pocket.

Those dreams you have of losing. It aren t real for these next couple pulse. It looks like the milady s are getting a bit more dangerous. This first one a youtube comment.

You have dangerous eyes. How many men have been led to their death by those eyes. Just kidding kind of but nice playing and now we go from killer eyes to asian assassins you see this crew of highly trained asian assassin maebh s i bet you didn t know the one in the red bikini as my stepsister from china just illustrates how mysterious i am like an onion. I m a layered with complexity culture wisdom and morals and apparently someone else comments.

I love them all so much my new four wives. Think that might just be the same guy in a different account and the original owner of the picture applies. Please delete this picture. It is creepy to repost my pic thanks this next one is titled everyday we stray further from god i m done with animal crossing.

I will never touch this game ever again so long story short. I was on one of my friends islands and it was a female villager that i thought looked rather cute. We exchanged friend codes and i decided to visit her island the next day. We agreed to talk over discord we only communicated via text the day before i set up a discord expecting to hear the angelic voice of a lovely gamer girl.

But i was instead greeted by the voice of another man why the hell did this guy have a female villager avatar. Does he realize what he did to me you re telling me i masturbated to a guy s villager. I don t even care that i m 1 gay. I m done with this game and a lot of people are saying satire and understandably so but the opion are cringe topia brought another follow up post.

I m giving away my copy of animal crossing new horizons to enter the giveaway. Just like my page and leave a comment share the post for an additional 5 entries. I ll announce the winner on april 15th. Again.

I can only ship it to the us and canada. So i m sure that many of my fans already know. But this game has caused me too much heartache. I got catfished by some guy online.

I was pretending to be a girl. I got my hopes up that i finally had found a gamer girlfriend all for nothing i m done with it hopefully whoever gets my copy and joy s it more than i did i m done with this series. And he also made a rage post about being called a bait. This apparently he s some sort of streamer even after this though.

I still can t believe this is real. I m still clinging on to the hope that this could be satire well guys here. We go again with the anime body pillows. And she is looking suspiciously.

Young but the boy next door can assure you she is 3000. Years old this next one s titled if you thought normal neck beards were bad get ready for furry neck beards immediately change your character s gender. I ve been a loyal follower of your page for almost a year and i ve been under the impression that your character specifically the rabbit was a female. However recent revelations have forced me to come into the open and make this account to commune with you witness my account upon seeing the gifts you have purchased for your boyfriend in imperial pox on oneself for not reading context like with mandy.

I realize that you were a home afire. Which would in turn. Mean that your rabbit character is a male. My goodness.

What a scandalous revelation. Indeed. I am incredibly displeased at this fact first most war is generally known as a female exclusive power female predators make up a large amount of all predator characters and thus. My assumption secondly.


I have spent a grand time using your images for the sake of owner. Istic practices and i am feeling extraordinary shame for having practiced owner ism not only to someone of my male gender. But also to the art of a home file third. Most your character and yourself is known in my view now as an outlier something strange that must be corrected with imperative therefore.

I am commanding you to change the gender of your character to female. I realize. This command is one that you as a homa file with limited reasoning skills may not understand therefore i shall present my reasons as to why you should do this first it shall put one of your most loyal watchers fears doubts and turning night terrors to absolute rest secondly your works would get significantly more views as the audience for homel file. And mail predators is exceedingly dim and tiny thirdly.

It would help to establish for as a female exclusive power to your watchers. Many of whom. I now suspect to be nothing more than a homo file communist infiltrators communists. What does communism have to do with this this would turn tides not only in the fandom.

But the world as more people turn to the right side the right side. Consider my petition wisely lagomorph. I have an exceedingly sharp wit and if you do not take this request. Lightly.

Then i shall be forced to debate you on this matter. Oh no not the debates. Although i suspect this could just be a troll looking for debates and believe me you do not want to debate. Me i am.

Unparalleled. An intellect reasoning and wit and have not been mind change on a point once either by my kin or by people of the communist side tick tuck. Goddamn. This one just has a little bit of everything doesn t it i am still trying to process this post.

And there s a few more minutes to go i don t think i can take it. But we ll see all right let s settle down with a bit of satire shave your beard. They said you can t fit a mask over it they said you re not powerful enough to stand up to covet alone. They said now that i ve fun locked to my final form.

They won t say anything anymore. Introducing the mask beard. Finally the neck beard has reached his final form these next ones were spotted at a 7 eleven in sydney. Guys gamer food is getting way too powerful they ve combined the powers of doritos and mountain dew.

This next. One is titled as a classic menswear lover and professional tailor. I can say that we are the second most harassed group behind the average woman every tailor and designer. I know has harassment stories.

So like have you seen input anime name. I m trying to basically make that aesthetic could you make his overcoat shows. Me pictures of something cartoonishly dramatic and over the top that he intends to wear is regular day wear. But then proceeds to get pissed off that it would cost them upwards of three to four thousand dollars.

Then the neckbeard claims to be a stylish man of culture. But never expands beyond various combinations of jet black and scarlet red instead of focusing on the advice we give them they tend to go on about their aesthetic. Which is always just a compilation of various angry or angsty looking. People.

There s rarely any substance behind our advising sessions or conversations. Then how edgy would it be if i wore a black suit black shirt and scarlet tie every day. They think every tailor shop is the shop from kingsman or john wick and insist on telling me what kind of pistol. They ll need a fit in their jacket.

Now. It s one thing if maybe they want this for a cosplay or something. But every day seems a little i only found out about those weird faces because this guy wanted his suit liner to look like one of those hoodies. The vast majority of them never actually buy anything they just arranged advising appointments to try and impress us with how stylish and badass.


They are like if he tells us how he needs to be able to fight off four people in his suit. Then we ll make it for free or some crap. I feel really bad for my female style advisors in the company they have it worse than any of us the appointments. Whether they buyer not always end with them asking for a date.

Like dude. This chick has turned down mba players and politicians mainly because most of them are married are in relationships. Though i highly doubt she s gonna go to her significant other and be like babe. I m leaving this client came in and he told us about how he basically wanted to be a kingsman.

My fee moit coochie just can t resist that kind of breeding stock. And i was actually wondering about matching fedoras and someone actually asked that they ask for a matching. Red and black fedora. Too and the opie replied.

They asked where they can get one of course. You just can t complete that edgy neckbeard look without that fedora. But i ll bet 20 bucks. They re gonna get a trilby instead this next.

One is just curse this dude is jerking. It on zoom . I was a bit intimidated to start. But once i got into it it felt pretty natural.

I made sure to turn my face away from the camera. When i finished being able to do this while staring up my crush in real time was amazing. Thank goodness this is satire. Because if it was real oh.

God this next. One was cross posted from our slash. Awful everything. And you ll see why it s there in a moment.

Hello. There. I hope you re having a great day winky face. I recently saw on one of your comments on our slash memes that you are a girl and that you have a pet ferret.

I know 100 they are probably gonna say no but if you say yes that would be absolutely amazing could you please send me a video or a short clip. Even if it is just 20 seconds of you rubbing your ferret against your vagina. What and or even better putting your ferret inside it what the hell again. I know that this is an outlandish request.

But please respond back if you are willing to do this for a fellow redditor also if you have an only fans. I would love to see it i ve always wanted to interactive with a female mimar. Oh. Cats a little too interactive dude.

Now what happens. When you use the uno reverse card on the anime body pillow. Now milady is the one with the neckbeard body pillow those reverse cards man they re way too powerful this next one s a neckbeard on the hub of all places. This is why women are freaking objects and nothing but dumps they can t control themselves when around the knee you just need to put them in their places and they ll eventually submit and dan man 96.

Replies who crumpled your fedora anyway i would like to thank all of my patrons especially seth southwell forever. Tired cupboard e. And spoony. The rogue.

You can join in a link below. And thank you so much for watching if you enjoyed this video don t forget to like if you have something interesting to say don t forget to comment and if you want to see more don t forget to subscribe and hit the little notification bell. See guys next time ” ..


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