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“What s with all the noise down mom. I bought casting the story of the the venture brothers. Jerry nobody cares about the bed your brother i don t care just be quiet all right fine people really need to know this stuff all right here. We go the story of the venture brothers.
Which really is not about the venture brothers. More about doc you see doc venture used to be one of those kid adventurers on a tv show. And it totally messed him up now dr. Ventures.
Dad. Jonas venture was like this badass. Super cool. Scientist guy that was head of team venture and that was the action man who s a super soldier dude colonel gentleman who s a sexually liberated gentleman spy and kano whose huge in his asian and he s a mute oh and there was this fish guy from atlantis.
But you never hear about him because he was wicked lame. Okay so these dudes raise rusty and rusty is docks a little kid named because nobody names a little kid doc. All right the kid from the shining was named doc. But that s totally not common okay.
Anyway. The reason without a mom and stuff and around supervillains. A dangerous science and they drag him on adventures and whatever it totally messes him up so. Then jonas dies and rusty grows up and inherits.
All of jonas s adventuring stuff. And then doc himself has kids now. I heard he hooked up with his bodyguard myra. Which he s totally crazy and i think that s true anyway.
The kids are hank and dean hank and dean are as the venture brothers get it and they re dragged around by their father that s the vicious circle. People do this okay so darks a super scientist himself now and he s totally crappy at it. But he s got all these villains chasing him and stuff. So he has to get a bodyguard for him and the boys.
This is brock samson..
He s a full on god men write him love letters and women name their vibrators after him so brock protects. The ventures from the bad guys were all part of the guild of calamitous intent. Now they keep felony on the up and up. And it s run by the council of 13 and the sob who may or may not be david bowie rock star.
Guy that david boat anyways. He s mostly floating head. So doesn t matter now dr. Ventures main pain in the nuts is the monarch he s my boss he totally hates dr venture.
Nobody knows why it s like in his blood or something. So the monarch is now married to his old second command. That s dr girlfriend. She s now dr.
Mrs. The monarch or something. But nobody calls her that she is smoking hot. But has like this really tragic voice.
She sounds like a dude. But you get used to it though all right the monarch is a whole bunch of henchmen and they ll get numbers so when one of them gets killed. It is no big deal but it is because that happened to my best friend hence room. 24.
Now that s me i m henchman. 21. He used to be wicked tubby. But after 24 died.
I got diesel to avenge his death. I still don t know who killed him. But i have a hunch it with the moppets and those are dr. Girlfriends old henchmen.
They are creepy..
They are tiny and nobody likes them. But i m getting ahead of myself here alright back to the venture brothers. So hank and dean and doc and brock they re doing fine till. The venture brothers died yeah.
Me and henchman. 24 kill. Them shoots core right wrong turns out. The venture.
Brothers are clones. You kill them. And doc. Just defrost another one that screw isn t.
But later there is this a big battle at the venture compound and all the clones were destroyed and then the tanks. They made were destroyed so that s it the venture brothers are out alive is now they re just like regular. I don t even think they know they re clones. I mean dean mike is he s like a little weird these days you know what they re all kind of weird even ducks friends billy and pete white are weird.
Though these two dudes that kind of only have each other now billy is to be a quiz boy whatever that is and pete. I don t even know what pete does now it used to be the host of a quiz show and i always seemed is it just like sponge off a billy anyways. These two want to be super scientist like doctor and get their own archenemies and all that crap from the guild of calamitous intent. But they suck at it so.
It s super slow. Going. Now. Doc is also friends with dr.
Orpheus and he s like this magic superhero guy that rents one of the rooms. And doc s unused buildings on the huge venture compound. Now orpheus has a super team. And they re called the order of the triad and that s the alchemists and jefferson twilight and jefferson is a blackula hunter.
Which means the only hunts black vampires..
Only now they ve killed approval have real archenemies and stuff oh and orpheus has a superhot goth daughter named triana and dean was way into her for a while but then she went away to school and now the mom and stepdad then she started seeing someone way cooler than dean and as you know everybody is cooler than dean. So you know it didn t work out. But it s not so bad for hank hank jose de bag. County friend named dermot.
But hank can t tell he s a d bag. Because dermot is the only kid. He s ever met his own age and that s because they never went to school. They had these learning beds that taught them obsolete facts while they were sleeping totally creepy dermot has a smokin sister that hank hooked up with once but check this out dermot sister is really dermott s mom.
So hank slept with his friend s mom. And it gets worse. Dermot s sister mama was darks old fan club. President and docked with her because he s lame.
So dermot is doc s son so hank slept with his half mom or something which isn t illegal. But it s creepy. Luckily they erased hanks memory and i wish i had that privilege when i tried to hook up with the monarchs wife do not judge. She s extra hot and they have this open relationship well accepted with the phantom limb.
And that s dr. Girlfriends old boyfriend. So he s totally off limits and the monarch ate some super bad he crashed their wedding. There was this whole embarrassing thing where he tried to take over the guilt.
And then he went to prison after that and then he escaped and went nuts and then he could try to start this to build an organization called the revenge society. And it s mainly him and professor possible now professor possible he used to be a good guy. But he went nuts himself. When his wife left him for docs brother.
What snap. Yes. Doc has a brother it used to be a twin that lived inside of him and this happened. It s called a teratoma you can look this up.
But this one wasn t a creepy wad of like hair and teeth..
He was a full guy that came out of dock. And became a successful scientist. And then named himself jonas jr. And dr.
Hates him because he s just like their dad and because tumors aren t supposed to be better than you. But besides docs tumors show him up duck also lost his bodyguard brock to spinks you see brock went off with his old ceo from when brock was in the office of secret intelligence. Hunter gathers is way out of the closet french shore leave. And a bunch of other guys.
It used to be in the osi and started sphinx and faces a suite underground supergroup that takes out villains that don t play by the rules. They are super tough. And this whole thing was happening secretly on the ventures property. And nobody knew that even the ventures.
New bodyguard sergeant hatred. Who is actually their old arch nemesis after my boss. The monarch losses arching privileges so brock is not the vengers bodyguard anymore and everything s been done since my friend died the ventures robot helper he was in the explosion that killed 24 that s my friend and now he s murdered this creepy walking eye. But music plays inshallah trainee.
Let s hankey dermott s band and their okay feel. Like a band that has no guitar and a drummer that is a robot. Now what else is nuts. We have brock s long time kind of girlfriend left him for a giant attorney.
He s like an attorney for the guild and that makes him evil and the giant. Part is because he s a giant he s super tall an actual giant crazy oh you know what else i kind of quit being a henchman after the whole doctor girlfriend hookup thing. I just was not feeling henchmen anymore and that happened at the venture brothers homeschool prom last year they graduated for their learning peds or something doesn t matter and dean gotten this huge fight with triana and he cussed out her stepdad and frock man molotov cocktease is a girlfriend. I was talking about she drove a car off a cliff with her giant new boyfriend because she joined up with him.
He has all these like secrets and people want him so she s a traitor s. She lady traitor. I think she s dead know about the venture brothers nobody coming have ” ..
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